The Cult of Covfefe
by Zeroxkun
Summary: If you enjoyed this maybe you'll like my other works.
1. Chapter 1

In the small quaint town of South Park Colorado events unfold, adventure begins. Tweek, now a junior in high school, is walking through the halls. As he turns the corner, he thinks he hears two people talking in hushed tones, but then thinks nothing of it. Though as he approaches a corner, they become louder.

"I know it's gonna be hard on her without her parents, but I'm sure with the help of her two big brothers, Karen's gonna-" The voice stops as Tweek finally rounds the corner and is met with the sight of the only other gay couple in the school apart from him and Craig: Kenny and Butters. Sorry, Marjorine, as her teal skirt and pink hair ribbons suggest. Being genderfluid, she's had a hard time being accepted by her family, but Kenny has been there with her through it all. Kenny is wearing another ratty orange hoodie not unlike the one he had in his childhood, but without the hood up. Probably passed down from his brother.

Kenny and Marjorine were huddling close together on a bench beside the hallway lockers, their heads together, and their intertwined hands sitting between them. It became obvious that Tweek had just ruined an important moment because now they're both staring at him in silence, and he's beginning to fidget with all the attention put on him.

"Oh jeez, ack-sorry you guys!" Tweek apologizes.

"It's alright, Tweek. Kenny here is just having a bit of a hard time." Marjorine motions to Kenny. Taking a closer look, Tweek notices how tired he looks. He knows that look all too well.

"Wow dude, I'm sorry about that. Whatever it is, I hope you can get through it." Tweek refrains from mentioning that he knows what they were talking about because it's none of his business. Kenny just nods and slumps down further into his significant other.

Suddenly the bell rings causing Tweek to flinch, being late is too much pressure for him so he says a quick "See you guys later." before darting off to class.

Tweek's day goes by uneventfully and soon enough he was in his last class of the day, anxiously awaiting the end of school.

The class is rowdy, noisy and on the the brink of being out of control. Rhythmic pen tapping permeates the dozen or so conversations as paper balls are thrown while Stan and Kyle pass notes. Tweek observes from the back row next to Craig who is actually trying to learn something. Their hands are intertwined on Craig's lap. Snapping, the teacher barks and singles out Kyle, demanding that Kyle reads the note Stan had just passed to him.

Kyle looks to the teacher, the redness on his face is apparent due to a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Begrudgingly Kyle stands, all eyes on him, the crumpled note in hand.

Facing the class he reads the note fearing what the teacher could have in store if he doesn't. "Do you want to go bowling at the usual place and then see a movie?" Stan just buries his head in his arms on the desk as Kyle continues. "I don't understand what's wrong, why won't you write back? I thought we were…" he pauses, then continues in a quieter tone, "butt buddies."

Cartman bursts out laughing, "Ha! Fags!"

Squeezing his boyfriend's hand tighter, Craig comments to Tweek, "This is why we communicate, babe."

Red faced, Kyle sits back down sneering at his lover. Very cross with him for getting him in trouble and outing them both at the same time.

"Eric! Another outburst like that and I will send you to the principal's office, got it!" The teacher yells, losing her patience.

Recoiling at the threat Cartman whimpers. "Yes, Miss Phuc-dat-bich."

With the small yet fierce asian woman getting her class under control she continues her algebra class until the bell rings.

Walking hand in hand Tweek and Craig walk to their lockers which as luck would have it were only one unused locker apart from each other. It was probably intentional, since the town still sees them as the local power couple. They each got a couple books for their homework assignments, and left together like they do every day.

As they are about to walk out of the school they see Kyle and Stan getting into a heated argument. There was a lot of yelling going on, and Tweek could swear there were tears in Kyle's eyes. They stop briefly to watch.

Tweek and Craig become one of a few onlookers, to the fight. Stan shoves Kyle, and then suddenly realizes that they've attracted a crowd. Kyle also becomes aware of it and runs out of the situation.

As they're making their way out of the school, Craig gives Tweek a kiss on the cheek knowing he'd freak out because PDA is technically against the rules. Hand holding is one thing but kissing could land them in trouble. Craig knows this but does it anyway as a way to reassure his boyfriend that they won't be like the two boys who were fighting just a minute ago.

Finally Tweek and Craig arrive at the street where they must part ways to their own homes. Craig gives Tweek a big hug and an intimate kiss on the lips before he leaves, walking down his street to his house.

Tweek is already feeling apprehensive as he enters the door of his home. He can hear someone yelling in a room further off, probably the kitchen. Oh god. Maybe it's an intruder. Maybe they want to kill him and eat his flesh! Tweek tries to turn around to open the door again, but someone comes out of the kitchen. It's his dad.

"Oh god! Dad, you scared me!" Tweek tries to calm himself down from his almost panic attack, but Tweek's dad rushes up and grabs him by the shoulders.

"Tweek! Son! Something terrible has happened!" Mr. Tweak yells while he clutches his son.

"Dad, holy crap what happened?" His dad's theatrics are now making Tweek nervous all over again.

"They're gone, Tweek! Kenny's parents!"

"Wait, what?" Tweek asks, he didn't think his parents cared that much about the McCormick's.

"Son, the McCormick's were a very important part of our business." Oh, so that's what this is about. "You remember those little errands I would send you on to pick up 'coffee ingredients' from them?"

"Y-yes?" Of course Tweek remembers. But he's also long figured out what exactly was in those stupid paper bags that his father cared about so much. He knows his family has been putting it in their coffee for who knows how long, but he just can't get himself to tell anyone for fear that his parents would do something horrible to him if they find out.

They've been threatening to sell him into slavery for years now, it's only a matter of time before they actually do it! He can't even manage to stop himself from drinking the coffee they offer to him. He's looked up all the effects of withdrawal, like hell he ever wants to subject himself to that kind of torture! No way, man! Besides, it's virtually impossible for him to refuse a hot, steaming mug full of that bitter liquid that just makes him feel so good… Well shit, it looks like now he's going to have to go through that kind of torture with Kenny's parents in jail.

"Well Tweek, without those 'ingredients,' our company will fail! Me and your mother may really end up having to sell you now!" Richard shook his son around more.

"No sweet Jesus I don't want to be sold!" Tweek yells.

"I don't want to have to sell you either son. But we're in some really deep shit now." Richard says gravely. "Hang on… shit… Shit! Tweek!" He shakes his son around a bit more, his grim facial expression replaced with one of pure joy and hope. "You can save the family business!"

"What? H-how?" Tweek nervously chews his lip.

""You will need to go to Hawaii. There is an animal there that produces some of the world's most expensive coffee beans, and you need to find one and bring it back." Richard informs his son before moving back to rummage through the drawer next to the couch. With a triumphant "AHA!" Richard holds up a large dusty key over his head.

"What's that?!" Tweek asks.

"This is what will save you from slavery, son. Come with me." Richard leads Tweek back to the kitchen, and stands in the pantry. Motioning for Tweek to come in, he waits until the teenager is inside with him before closing the door behind them.

"The pantry?" Tweek asks, trying to make out where everything is in the dim light.

"Just wait, son." A dull thunk sounds from where his dad is standing, and Tweek feels a sudden cold wind rush up from the floor, like an ancient temple that has been closed for hundreds of years had just been opened, releasing a curse on the unsuspecting town that conceals it. "This," Richard continues, "is your destiny."

Richard clicks on a flashlight he picked up from the pantry floor, and illuminates a long dirt tunnel that he had just uncovered from behind the secret pantry trapdoor. They both make their way down the dank tunnel, Tweek twitching and screeching at every little noise made from whatever was at the end of the tunnel, an unending mantra of 'We're gonna die down here we're gonna die down here we're gonna die down here…' repeating itself in Tweek's head until they reach a point where the tunnel around them widens to that of a large room. The only source of light other than Richard's flashlight came from a small crack in the ceiling of the dirt cave, illuminating what seemed to be a stone tablet resting directly below it.

Richard moves forward and picks up the tablet, holding it out for Tweek to see. Carved into it are crude drawings of what could be considered Tweek travelling to an island, the next detailing him holding up what looks like a cat, then Tweek dropping what might be coffee beans into cups.

"What?! I can't be part of a prophecy! That's too much pressure!" Tweek pulls at his shirt.

"You have no choice son, it's been decided for hundreds of years." His dad explains.

"Oh god I can't believe this!" Tweek runs back out of the tunnel and doesn't stop. He hears his dad calling out about discussing this later, but keeps going until he reaches his room. Tweek flings himself onto his bed and screams into his pillow. This can't possibly be happening! How could his dad put so much pressure on him?! Once Tweek finally stops screaming, he quiets down enough to notice that his phone is ringing.

When he picks it up, Tweek notices that it's Craig calling. Perfect, Tweek could use some venting right now. He answers it.

"Hey dude, you'll never believe what my dad-" Tweek is cut off when he hears his boyfriend's voice.

"Hey, Tweek?" Craig's voice was wavering, and it shut Tweek up instantly.

"Craig? What's wrong?" Tweek was now very concerned, his own problems long forgotten. Craig had sounded like he was ready to cry.

"Would you… Would you be able to come to Stripe #4's funeral tomorrow?" Craig chokes out.

And that's how Tweek finds himself the very next day, standing outside in Craig's backyard, wearing a nice button up shirt with his jeans. Craig stands beside him, his lanky figure dressed from head to toe in black. Clyde, Token, and Ruby all stand on the other side of Craig, each of them holding a white daisy. There to mourn the loss of his and Craig's guinea pig.

"I've had Stripe #4 for four years, the longest I've ever had a guinea pig." Craig speaks, gazing mournfully as the shoebox at his feet. "She was a gift from Tweek, and I enjoyed every minute with her." He quickly wipes his eyes and holds in a sniffle. "I remember one time, I was playing with her out on the couch, and then she disappeared into the cushions. I couldn't find her for days, and I started leaving food out for her in every room. Then one day, I woke up and she had fallen asleep on my head after taking a piss on my bed." Craig's glare shut up Clyde's laughter. "Anyways, at that moment, I realized, I had no idea what I would do if I ever lost her. But now that she's really gone, I'm sure she would want me to move and let her go peacefully. Goodbye, Stripe #4." Craig crouches down and rests a hand on top of the shoebox. "You were a great pet, and an even better best friend."

Tweek takes a moment to glance over at Clyde, who looks like he has tears streaming down his face.

Craig gently picks up the shoebox and places it in the hole he had dug before people showed up for the funeral. Then he picks up a shovel and begins to pile dirt on top of the box. Clyde takes this moment to finally break into sobs and fling himself at Tweek who screams a bit at the unexpected weight thrown on him.

Clyde just sobs and digs his face into Tweek's shoulder, covering his shirt in tears and snot, "It's just so sad!" he cries. Tweek pats him on the back.

He lets Clyde stay there until Craig is finished burying the shoe box, which by then, Clyde has calmed down enough to move over and place his daisy down on the grave with Token and Ruby's. Then they all stand in a line facing the box again.

"Time for a final goodbye." Token announces, and then Craig raises his middle finger up to his forehead in a salute, and the rest follow. After they all drop their hands, they stand for a few minutes in silence until Ruby goes back to her room. Clyde and Token then decide that it's their time to leave as well, giving Craig their condolences in side hugs and pats on the back. Then Tweek and Craig are left alone to look at the mound of dirt with daisies piled on it.

Tweek begins to wonder if he should do something to make Craig feel better until Craig moves towards him and pulls him into a warm embrace which Tweek gladly melts into.

Craig hoists Tweek up and carries him inside. Making it up the stairs is a bit of a pain, but soon they're lying beside each other on Craig's bed, still enveloped in their tight embrace.

"Remember when me, you, and Stripe #4 all watched Red Racer every day after school?" Craig finally speaks up, his mournful tone cutting through the silence.

Tweek moves his hand through his boyfriend's soft black locks of hair as Craig recounts every happy memory he has with his guinea pig. Eventually he falls silent and the two boys stay snuggled together on his bed. At some point, the room begins to grow dimmer, meaning that the sun is setting.

"Craig?" Tweek's voice is raspy after not being in use for so long.

"Yeah?" Craig moves his face from tweek's neck to look at him. His face displays a strange mix of sadness and content.

"...My dad is making me go to Hawaii." Tweek hopes Craig won't freak out.

"Hawaii? What for? What about school?" Craig just sounds confused.

"Ugh, I know, right? It's all part of this stupid prophecy down below our house in some weird cave, and now I have to go find this animal that supposedly-"

"Oh nooo," Craig moans and holds Tweek tighter, "this is just as bad as that shit Cartman and the other douches get up to on a daily basis. It's not impossible to just walk away. Tell me you'll just forget about it, babe. Do it for my sake." Craig pleads.

"Uh, well, if I do, my parents will have to sell me into slavery!" Tweek says.

"Jesus Christ, Tweek." Craig groans, slowly turning over and pulling Tweek on top of him.

"B-besides! You can come with me. To get your mind off of things? I know you haven't been feeling your best lately." Tweek gazes at Craig with apprehension. What if he doesn't say yes? Will he really just be okay with Tweek going off to some island by himself to search for some coffee making cat?!

Craig seems to think about it for a while before sighing. "Fiiiine, just so that I can make sure you don't get into anything too crazy. Just go to Hawaii, find the thing, and leave. Right?" He gives Tweek a quick peck on the lips.

"Right." Tweek returns the kiss, and Craig does it again. When Tweek goes to return it, he instead slots his mouth over Craig's, sliding their lips together. Craig hums and clutches Tweek's waist as Tweek turns his head, allowing for Craig to move his tongue inside. Just as Craig is moving a hand down to squeeze at the curve of Tweek's ass, the two boys are startled apart by Craig's mom knocking at the door.

"Boys, I told you to keep this door open when you're alone in there!" She yells through the door.

"Holy shit," Craig mutters, dropping his head back against the sheets. He glances to the floor, where Tweek had jumped to when the knocking on the door scared them both. "Fine, Mom!" Grumbling, he gets up from his bed and opens the door, flipping off his mom as she moves back down the hall.

"Well that sucked." He groans as he lies back down next to Tweek.

"I should probably get going anyways, Craig." Tweek said, getting up.

"Okay, bye honey." Craig calls from the bed, and Tweek bends over to give his boyfriend one last kiss before heading out the door.

The setting sun casts a warm pink and orange light over the town. Tweek looks around to enjoy the beautiful scenery, trying to stall going back home as long as he can.

Upon arriving home, Tweek is again forced into an unwanted conversation by his father who sits him down at the dinner table.

"Ok, son I've taken you out of school starting the day after tomorrow for a few days.

"WHAT?!"

Turning his chair around Richard then logs in onto the family's computer, getting on the internet to find a good deal on a single plane ticket. "Now let's get you a ticket."

Awkwardly, Tweek finds the wherewithal to tell his father. "Craig is coming too." still squirming to his seat across the dining table.

Richard lightly hits his forehead, "Of course he's going with you, it will increase the chance of you getting what we need." Surfing multiple sites on the family computer, Richard stumbles across a steal of a deal; four tickets for a lower price than the price of two tickets.

He pounces on the opportunity, being the cheap business owner that he is.

Panicking, Tweek comments, "Two extra tickets! Who's going to come with us?"

With his part done he responds. "I don't care, it's up to you son. Now, go on up to bed you'll need your rest."

Going up to bed Tweek manages to get into his PJs and tries to fall into a slumber however stress keeps sleep at bay for him. Bored and unable to sleep he decides to text Craig.

Hey u up?

The response came only a minute later.

am now.

Tweek glances over to the clock sitting by his bed. The numbers flash back at him, displaying a bright red 4:20 am. "Shit!" Tweek yells and hastily responds.

I'm sorry! I just want to talk to someone right now! My dad got two extra tickets!

but i'm still going, so that's what matters right?

I guess…

i'd like to go back to sleep now. see you tomorrow. ily 3

Love u too! 3 3 :D

3 :)

Tweek turns off his phone and lies down in bed. That's right, Craig will be there with him so he shouldn't worry so much. He hugs his pillow close to his chest and wishes it were his boyfriend instead. 'Craig didn't have to go with me, but he chose to anyways.' Tweek's heart swells at the thought, and he clutches the pillow even closer.

Next morning Tweek's problem still persists.

With the anxiety of picking who to invite on his journey mounting, Tweek begins to have panic attacks or at least more than normal, his chest is tight, he can barely breath. Debilitating him to the point of almost missing the bus to school.

Getting onto the school bus he makes his way back to his seat, the very back seat, right next to the emergency exit. Stressfully pulling at his shirt and hair it only serves to add to his normally disheveled look.

Luckily he only needs to wait for a couple stops until they arrive at Craig's house his anticipation his swiftly replaced by relief as his boyfriend gets on the bus. Sitting down, Craig is immediately bombarded by Tweeks frantic questions.

In hushed whispers. "Dude! What am I going to do? No matter who I pick the others will be mad and hate me! Gah!" Tweek asks, having caught Criag up to speed last night via texts, really this morning as both suffer from occasional insomnia.

Calmy Craig stewed on his reply, breaking his silence. "Honey, you are a kind and thoughtful person, pick who you think needs or deserves it the most, I don't mind who you choose to come with us."

Freaking out even more. "Gah! That doesn't help me!"

"Well I don't know what you want me to do about it." Craig says in his emotionally mute tone, still dealing with Stripe #4 passing.

Not wanting to show or take out his pain on Tweek, Craig remains silent for the rest of the bus ride.

With Craig not really being any help, Tweek decides to confide his problem in his best sometimes girlfriend, Marjorine or Butters as he finds him at his locker dressed in more male quote unquote clothing.

"Hey ah," taking a moment to assess Butters clothing. "B-butters, you got time?"

Turning towards Tweek. "Always, for my bestie. What's wrong?"

Tweek presses his back up against the lockers, bringing his hands to his faces massaging the dark circles under his eyes. "Kenny's parents supplied my parents with our coffee's secret ingredient. Without it my family's business will surely go under." Tweek begins to slide down the face of the locker door, continuing. "But then my dad told me I am apart of some prophecy and that I would need to go find some sacred coffee cat." Now on the ground in the fetal position, back still against the locker he buries his face in his arms and continues still audibly. "My dad got me and Craig tickets to Hawaii but he got two extra tickets and I don't know what to do with them. It's too much pressure, I don't know what to do, man!" the stress in his voice is extremely clear.

Halting and innocent he informs. "Oh jeez, w-well me and Kenny know the island pretty well, I'm kind of a native." Softly. "M-maybe we could go with you?" touching his shoulder in support.

~~*~~

8:00 am. The next day.

A nervous mix of apprehension and excitement swells within the two couples as they enter the airport, crossing the threshold they immediately get in line to check in.

The light hum of the other passengers serves as white noise, distracting the boys from the swiftly disappearing line of people in front of them.

With Tweek's uncontrollable fidgeting, the check in clerk raises her brow in suspicion, making a quick phone call. Other than that, the check in goes by smoothly and she sends them on their way.

Using the signs to direct them, they find and drop off their luggage at the luggage terminal. Kenny looking at a map of the airport's floor plan finds their plane's gate. Now knowing where they're supposed to go, they head to the security checkpoint. Following the lead of the people in front of them they dump their wallets and other belongings into the plastic bins.

Craig and Kenny walk through the metal detector without a hitch. Then the fat black TSA agent calls out. "Next!" Singling Tweek and Marjorie to go through. Walking through alarm start to blare.

"Oh, hamburgers." Marjorine exclaims.

Bonquisha waddles over to Marjorine informing her."Excuse me ma'am I'm going to need to pat you down"

Bonquisha begins to pat her down starting at the top with her wire the cause of the alarm, her hands continue to trace the outline of her torso going further the down she feels her crotch underneath her skirt and touches something she did not anticipate. Getting on her radio she informs her supervisor. "We have a 42069."

Over the radio her supervisor responds. "I'll be right there."

Soon a male TSA agent arrives. "Hello young… lady, I'm here to administer a more thorough pat down." he says, purring hungrily.

The three boys watch on in slight discomfort as Marjorine is fondled, groped and basically molested by the TSA.

The whines and quiet whimpers she makes as the supervisor worms his hand down her panties fingering her entrance are barely auditable. He makes the quick comment. "Just checking for drugs."

All the while bonquisha is thoroughly checking out in and around her front. With all the stimulus her penis begins to swell poking out from her panties but still covered by her skirt.

Finished with their invasive search the two TSA agents let a hard and needy Marjorine go.

Marjorine feels odd she doesn't necessarily feel violated but just bordering on the really uncomfortable yet very excited from the whole ordeal that just occurred. Tweek, Craig and Kenny sensing this, form a protective triangle around her Kenny and Tweek on her left right with Craig bringing up the rear, flicking off the TSA agents as they walk away. Maybe a little bit of Kenny's perverted side is rubbing off on her.

Arriving at their gate they have about forty minutes to kill. Tweek is dashing across the food stalls trying to find a place that sells coffee. He's gone over an hour without some which is a miracle in of in itself. Finding a place he slaps his money down on the counter asking for a large cup of coffee, black. Clearly trembling and twitching the Barista looks on with concern. Sliding him the large cup of black liquid is desperate hands reach out. Only to have Craig swipe it from him last second.

Craig looks at him with a stern and calm look. "Babe, we've talked about this, you need to start taking care of your appearance if not for me then for yourself," Craig takes a deep sigh and says bluntly. "You look like shit. I thought you said you were going to shave this morning."

"I know I woke up late and anxiety...Ack! Just gimme my coffee!"

"Tweeeek," Craig drawls out and a scolding fashion. "We have plenty of time please just shave in the bathroom, then I'll give you your coffee."

"Gah! Fine!" Tweek says, running into the nearby bathroom with his carry on bag under his arm. Craig going back to where Marjorine and Kenny are sitting he waits five minutes while watching Kenny agonizingly tease his girlfriend. After ten minutes Craig grows concerned and decides to check on Tweek.

Quietly entering the bathroom Craig can hear what sounds like muffled crying. Tweek has barely done any shaving with half of his face is covered in shaving cream the other his scraggly long unbecoming beard is still apparent. Blood from nicks from where he randomly tried to start shaving has turned the shaving cream pink.

"Tweek.." Craig said softly.

"I can't do this."

"Yes, you can."

"I don't know how, my dad never showed me." He informs, on the brink of even more tear, not because he can't shave but because in a sense he's failed his boyfriend.

"Then I'll teach you."

"What?"

Closing the short distance between them Craig steps behind Tweek glancing at them both in the mirror. Placing the razor back in his boyfriend's hand, Craig gently and intimately helps guide Tweek's hand, dragging the razor against the grain of his scraggly five o'clock shadow.

Craig using his other hand to steady Tweek's chin, he runs the blade under the sinks water and repeats. Craig's breath tickles Tweek's ear, the distance between them is nonexistent. An odd calming energy exudes from Craig, Tweek can feel it enveloped him like a warm blanket. In this moment he feels safe, comforted and content, all of his worries are in the back of his mind, much like when he's in his happy place.

Soon one half of Tweek's face is soft and smooth. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, he then backs away from Tweek, saying. "See honey, that's all there is to it, you are more capable than you think."

With newfound confidence Tweek's slaps a handful of shaving cream on the other side of his face. "T- thank you Craig...for caring enough about me to push me past my limits."

Craig watches intently at Tweek's reflection noticing a rare determination in his eyes that only he has seen. The way he has such an effect on his boyfriend, has always made Craig feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside however maintaining control over his emotions, he seldom got all ewwy gooey lovey dovey over it.

Tweek glides the razor across his cheek just like how Craig showed him, still managing to cut himself on his jaw line but overall he does a pretty good job.

Suddenly Tweek feels something being pressed against his face. Plainly Craig mutters. "Here."

Tweek looks at his own reflection in the mirror seeing Craig applied a bandaid on his cut. Raising his hand to the bandage, gently touching it Tweek comments. "Thanks ya big softy."

Slightly embarrassed Craig responds. "Shut up, let's go already."

Leaving the bathroom shortly after Craig, Tweek looks down at his ticket to see which seat he's been assigned to. "I've got 12A." He announces, looking to Craig, hoping they got seated together.

"I have 15D." Craig replies.

"Oh." The both of them look slightly dejected.

"Heya seat buddy!" Kenny pops in and wraps an arm around Craig's shoulders, a grin wide and prominent on his face. "Looks like we get to spend some time together."

"There is no god." Craig states monotonously while Kenny shakes him around.

"Hey Tweek, I guess you and I are gonna be seat buddies too." Marjorine holds up her ticket, revealing her seat to be 12B.

"Then I guess it sort of works out?" Tweek questions.

Craig just groans.

When they're all settled on the plane and other passengers are still boarding, Tweek begins to feel nervous. He clutches the armrests and attempts to control his frantic heartbeat. He just needs to think of his happy place, full of sunshine and rivers, and Craig… But what if they're in a terrible crash and they all die? Or worse- Tweek is the only survivor and he has to cope with losing his friends and boyfriend all alone on a deserted island inhabited by feral monkeys that eat humans?!

"Listen Tweek, I can tell you're getting all paranoid and twitchy again, or uh… more than usual. Listen, I don't know what exactly Craig does to calm you down. Can I do anything for ya?" Marjorine supplied. Before Tweek could answer, Marjorine's phone started ringing from her purse.

"Don't you have to- urgh- turn those off on an airplane? The waves can mess with this thing, man. We're all gonna be sent down to a fiery death!" Tweek looked out the window nervously.

"Tweek… We, uh, haven't left the ground yet." Marjorine states as she pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. "Hey, it's Craig. Hi Craig! Boy, I was just thinking about you! Tweek's getting all twitchy again."

"Let me talk to him." Tweek could barely hear Craig's deep voice, but he zeroed in on it and instantly started feeling just a bit better as he took the phone.

"H-hey, Craig." Tweek stutters out.

"Tweek, Honey, are you okay?" Tweek could swear he heard a small falsetto voice mimic Craig from the other end of the phone call, but Tweek ignored it.

"No! I'm not fine! What if our flight gets rerouted, or it goes missing?"

"You remember your happy place, right? You've also got Marjorine there to talk to since you apparently don't like me enough to switch with Kenny." Craig grumbles.

Tweek laughs a bit, "Come on, we can switch halfway through. Is it already that bad?"

Craig groans in response, and Tweek giggles as he hangs up the phone when the announcement to turn off all devices comes on. Craig is only a few rows behind him, and he feels better already.

Craig sighs as he shuts off his phone. Kenny smirks at him.

"So how is he?" Kenny asks, seemingly intrigued.

Craig glances over to the boy next to him before leaning back and shutting his eyes. The airplane was shaking all around them as it made it's way down the runway. "Tweek? He's fine. Just a bit panicked about the flight."

"No, I mean in bed."

Craig feels his stomach drop from a combination of the plane leaving the ground, and Kenny's question.

"Kenny what the fuck?!" Craig yells before composing himself. The question really caught him off guard, and he can't risk Kenny finding out how much it had flustered him.

"What's with that face? Don't tell me you and Tweek never-" As Kenny gasps, his face makes the equivalent of the ":O" face while he points at Craig.

"I don't need to talk to you." Craig grumbles as he leaned against his chair, pointedly staring in the opposite direction from Kenny.

"Craig Tucker, you're telling me."

"Stop."

"That you've been dating Tweek for six years now."

"Lalalala I can't hear you!"

"And you haven't even had a taste of Tweek's supple ass?"

"Don't talk about Tweek's ass."

"How can I not?!" Kenny throws his hands in the air, "Tweek's got some nice shit going on back there!"

Craig kicks Kenny's leg as fiercely as he can in such a cramped space. One of the people in the seats in front of them sends them a dirty look, and Craig realizes they've been talking really loud.

Kenny doesn't seem to care. "Craig Tucker, a blushing virgin."

Craig just flips him off.

"No, no, listen buddy," Kenny reaches over and covers Craig's finger with his hand to make it go down and Craig recoils. "this trip is gonna be great for you. You're going to be on a romantic tropical island, no parents around. It's the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Is it so hard for you to mind your own business?" Craig leans back against his seat with his eyes closed, his brows are furrowed angrily.

"I'm only trying to help you, dude." Kenny retorts and slumps back into his seat with his arms crossed.

They spent the next two hours in stubborn silence, and Craig was beginning to doze off when Tweek suddenly shows up next to them.

"Hey, Kenny," Tweek speaks quietly, "Marjorine asked if we could switch seats for the rest of the ride?"

Kenny stands up from his seat to let Tweek take it. "No problem." He winks at Craig who is still half asleep and then walks up to where Marjorine is waiting for him.

"So how did it go?" Tweek asks with an evil smirk on his face.

Craig only wraps an arm around Tweek's shoulders and replies with a mumbled "Fuck you," pulling Tweek in closer.

An airplane is definitely not one of the most comfortable places to cuddle, but th are eventually able to make it work with Craig leaning against the window and Tweek wrapped up in his arms. Barely a few minutes pass until they see Kenny and Marjorine giggling and making their way to the back, presumably heading for the bathroom in the back.

Kenny stares pointedly at Craig as he goes by and winks, pulling Marjorine along with him.

"Those assholes." Craig tiredly remarks.

With the bathroom being situated only three rows behind them, sounds are not hard to hear through the close, paper thin walls.

Craig grits his teeth knowingly as he and Tweek can't help but overhear a repetitive thumping. Alongside low and hushed yet still audible whimpers, curiously Tweek inquires innocently. "What's that noise?"

Angrily digging his nails into the armrest Craig responds simply. "Turbulence." Wanting to dodge the subject all together. It wasn't like him to let things get under his skin this was one exception.

"Oh god it's getting louder we're all gonna DIIIIEE! Tweek exclaims, getting himself all worked up.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! If you would like to read more of my stories or even join my writing group please check out my /users/zero_kun/pseuds/zero_kun/works or drop by and check out my Discord server /Y6Ahs6E we are looking for writers beta readers role players and artists. Please see my profile.


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